When I first began to develop the idea for unum, it was after some serious reflection and soul searching and literally months of journaling. As the concept evolved, I kept coming back to the same place I began. I kept coming back to the simplicity of a clearly articulated sense of self and of my purpose. While the ideas flowed and the concept grew, the core stayed the same. This development of the concept in it’s truest form was merely an exercise in making a commitment to myself. And, that is what unum initially grew from… an expression of my true self, my identity, my light, and my purpose. Launching unum was a declaration of not just who I am, but of equal importance, who I am NOT.
However, I have to say that during the weeks leading up to launch day, I became increasing anxious. The big “F” word was beginning to take over. FEAR! Now, I had journaled about fear before. On one of my many cathartic journeys of placing my thoughts on paper to ease the voices in my head, I expressed my own fears related to my life and some challenging decisions I had to make. And, as I reflected on my thoughts related to fear, I went back to my notes. Back to the therapy the pages provided during some pretty dark times. Reading about my own journey, of how I dealt with my own fears, eased the anxiety and renewed my focus and sense of purpose.
When I think about fear, it usually comes back to the same things. Fear of the unknown. Fear of rejection. And, fear of failure. And when we begin to feel the fear, we usually have those dark thoughts run through our head and we ask ourselves those “what if” questions. What if they don’t like my blog? What if it’s a big failure? What if people think I’m crazy? What if no one reads it and follows it and I don’t see those little red notification dots and my friends think I’m weird and my kids think I’m weirder and I start losing my hair due to the stress and…. Exactly. Those “what if” questions we typically ask ourselves are usually negative and undermine our energy and intention, and shake our confidence. They cloud our ability to see clearly and trust ourselves. So, as an exercise, I began to ask myself the exact opposite questions. What if people love the concept? What if people do follow the blog? What if it does make a difference? If you’ve ever been fearful of a situation, try this and you’ll be amazed at how it makes you feel. More importantly, amazed at how it can change your perspective and boost your confidence.
Launching this blog was as much about overcoming my fears as it was a declaration of who I am and what my purpose is. So, I ask you, what are your fears? Do you ask yourself those negative “what if” questions that drive you into a cycle of self-doubt? And, do those questions cripple your ability to be yourself and act with clarity and confidence? So, the next time your fearful of something, walk through these fours steps.
Identity the core element of what your fear is based on. It’s usually not as scary as you think.
Ask yourself those “what if” questions? Both the good and the bad.
Be honest with yourself and the situation.
Focus on the process and break it down.Make a personal declaration, trust yourself, but most importantly take action!
I’m sure my fears and anxieties will resurface, as will yours. And, when they do, I’m going to go back to my journals, back to my core, and walk through the steps that got me here. And, if that doesn’t work, I’ll just go back to the sage advice of my mother… “what’s the worst that can happen!”
Joe Danis